World’s Dumbest Terrorist Lights Himself On Fire Instead of Jetliner

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On Christmas Day, a 23-year-old Nigerian man aboard a Northwest Airlines flight from Amsterdam tried to ignite an incendiary device strapped to his leg during the final approach to Detroit, but the bumbling fool only managed to light his own crotch on fire instead and then got a swift ass-kicking by a Dutch passenger who helped subdue him. So what do we know about Abdul Farouk Umar Abdulmutallab? For one, not even his rich banker dad liked him. Nigeria’s This Daily reports: Read more »

Parting Shot: All Aboard

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Chicago apparently takes the whole Christmas thing pretty serious as evidenced by the CTA’s specially decorated “Holiday Train.”

Photo by chenmeister64

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Deranged Wingnut Lady Wants Christmas Cancelled in Response to Senate Passing Health Care Bill

Ha! This is amazing and so typically retarded…this conservative woman, “Bunny,” called into C-Span today to say that she was taking down her Christmas tree and all her Christmas lights in protest of the Senate passing a bill to help the poors get health care on “God’s holiday” because, you know, God hates the poors. Read more »

Who’s Having Their Period Today? (Christmas Edition)

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Twitter gives the world access to people’s most mundane details and it’s amazing how many women love to announce to the world that, yes, they’re on the rag. Here are today’s brave, bloated over-sharers. Read more »

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Street Artist Pacifies America Eagle Advertising

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At first, this appeared to be an actual American Eagle ad in Herald Square, but upon closer inspection it revealed its true juvenile nature: pacifier street art.

Photo by Bucky Turco/ANIMALnewyork

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It’s Wouldn’t Be the Holidays Without Jay Thomas’ Lone Ranger Story

Each year around the holidays comedian Jay Thomas appears on Letterman’s show to tell the story of a run-in he had with The Lone Ranger back when Thomas was a radio disc jockey. Even if you’ve heard Thomas tell the story previously, it’s worth hearing again because it’s just so damn funny. Read more »

Enjoy Doing Whatever You Do On This Holiday Weekend

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Just a quick note to say that we here at ANIMAL will avoid blogging tomorrow to appease Jesus Christ on the day commemorating his birth. However, we will be back next week doing our thing, though in a mildly lighter capacity. Here’s hoping that all of you have a lovely holiday weekend. Peace.

Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni says that he will try to “soften” a proposed law that gays in his country be put to death or sent to prison for life. Progress! |DW World|

Bernie Madoff Got His Ass Kicked In Prison

This morning there were reports circulating around that billionaire swindler Bernie Madoff had to be moved from prison and into a medical facility for hospitalization, but no one seemed to know why. Now we know…he got his ass kicked! Read more »

Planning on Traveling To/Through the Midwest Today or Tomorrow? Yeah, Well, Good Luck With That!

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Hey remember that crazy blizzard that blanketed the northeast just a few days ago? Well there’s another one crawling through middle America right now heading east. Hundreds of flights in and out of Chicago have already been canceled and more are expected all over the place. Hell, Dallas, freaking Dallas, is expected to get four inches of snow. So if you’re traveling today, tomorrow, or over the next few days, look out. |USA Today|