My honey-bunny and I have a pretty drama-free relationship, and any inkling of drama that we do have is absolutely, 100% caused by me. I can’t handle guys who are drama queens. I’m nuts enough as it is; if I dated one of these super dramatic dudes I think I would go berserk. Apparently the craigslisters don’t want drama either (Like the Black Eyed Peas said, no, no drama, no, no, no, no drama).

Or, um, not.

Now Casting: The Married Guy's Girlfriend! - 39 (Flatiron)
The search is on for a foxy female lead for what promises to be the hottest romantic comedy in town: think Cat on a Hot Tin Roof meets Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf on the set of The Producers.

Casting now to star opposite handsome, charismatic, quiet, intense, funny leading man. Be fit, drama free, with a gift for improvisation and double jointed is a plus. Double Ds a bigger plus. Please reply w/ headshot.

Oh, the irony. This guy is thirty-nine years old and MARRIED. He wrote a freaking craigslist ad stating that he is looking to find a secret girlfriend in addition to his WIFE. The ad’s schtick is a casting call for the female lead in his own private theater production. And yet the only specifications regarding the woman that he is looking for is that she be large-breasted, double-jointed and…DRAMA FREE? Seriously, what the fuck, dude?

I need some exercise - m4w - 35
I'm hot, horny and experimental. I reside in the Bklyn College area in a beautiful studio overlooking many "bushes"...I'm 5'7,150,chocolate bar hershey.
You: d/d free, excellent hygiene, non-smoker and common sense. My preference is (petite - semi-thick) not ready for the BBW. I'm an equal oppty f**cker. Just cum with a beautiful attitude. Strictly NSA, this can be an ongoing engagement if we say so...Lets get physical and have fun doing ghetto yoga!!! No Drama or other medical issues. Just straight up sexy goodesses that need to be nourished with pleasure. I drive with a seat belt, so should you. Like my instrument my Pics are too BIG for CL so send me sumthin' sumthin'...holla

This is maybe one of my favorite craigslist ads EVER. Why, you ask? Because I TOO am an equal opportunity fucker (aww, yeah!). That being said, we can all take a lesson from Mr. Chocolate Hershey Bar…when it comes to doing ghetto yoga, always look for partners with no drama…or other medical issues.

Yikes.

id like to be part of a gangbang - 29
iv always wanted to do a gangbang , most of these cl ads i believe are bullshit . im good looking , good job , clean drug and disease free . no drama ,just looking to tap some ass ands lay some serious pipe . im seeking girls that are interested in haveing a "real " gangbang " or guys who already know a girl who wants to get gangbanged and accept me in your group for my first time experience . id love to just fuck and use a girl and fill up all her holes and just have a great time .

No drama, just looking to tap some ass and lay some serious pipe. How…romantic! But seriously, dude. As much as I’d loooove to be the girl whose holes you fill up, you’ve really got to explain to me what the hell is going on with those quotation marks. Three right-facing quotation marks around two words? Really?

Handsome stranger looking for a virgin to deflower - m4w - 28 (East Village)
I am Dracula, you are the girl who just wants to be taken. I will come over now, find you lying naked on your bed, I kiss and touch you all over your body. My lips fall on yours, my clothes slide off. I move on top of you, you want this now. I move inside you. Slowly. I take your virginity. No drama, just excitement and fullfillment and an open door to your new sex life.

I am tall, handsome, trim, white and ready to do this for you now.

No, no sir, I’m not interested in drama at all. I’m just a virgin who happens to want Count Dracula to come over to do some ghetto yoga with me. Nope, no drama here. AT ALL.

Sigh.

Ps. Ghetto Yoga!

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