Okay. We lose. Perez Hilton was just kidding or something about Page Six’s Chris Wilson being the man who outed Richard Johnson’s DUI arrest. We are terrible about disseminating second hand facetiousness from inside a crowded bus and assumed that such a high-ranking gossip columnist like Perez Hilton with so many connections wouldn’t possibly be retarded enough to go throwing bombshells around like that without an immediate retraction, which may or may not have happened, etc. etc.
However, in fairness to everyone, if we do look at this from a half-assed culpability scorecard, here’s where we’re at:
Chris Wilson, Page Six: Not Guilty
Perez Hilton: Guilty
ANIMAL: Eh…fuck it. Guilty.
But our guilt comes with some valuable lessons learned today in how this putrid little interweb land really works.
To wit:
1. Gossipping about gossip columnists gossiping about other gossip columnists on online gossip columns is great for traffic.
2. Upholding people’s reputations no matter how insanely vapid they may be is essential.
3. Insignificant bitchiness is a game best played by other people.
We now return to our irregularly scheduled programming about things in this city that are 400 times more interesting and relevant. Kind of.
Perez Hilton, BlahBlahBlah [PerezHilton]
Previously: Caption Me: Perez Hilton Rats Out Chris Wilson [ANIMAL]