Scott Machens is one sick, twisted individual so it comes as no surprise that he graduated from NYU Film School. In addition to making AIDS patients get out of their dying beds to see his films, he gets off on hearing the cries of his enemies’ women and making online books. While some artists make art in their studios he prefers a peep show booth, and who needs a gallery space when he’s got a website called Empireofthedamned. So next time you’re feeling horny and sensually religious, log on, open up your browser and visit his newest masterpiece, The Revelation of St. John. And as evil as he might seem and no matter how annoying our questions, he agreed to answer them all and only insult our mothers once.

Tell us about how you make your art. What’s your process: I use a very old consumer hi8 camera, disposable cameras, peepshow booths, anything low tech and cheap.
Who is your Art for? Me.
What is your Art supposed to do? Give a form to the shit in my head. Helps me understand myself.
What is your art worth? How much you got?
What single work of art would you most like to destroy? My own, before anybody can see it, and see what goes on in my head.
Name one crappy “Artist”: You. Now name another one: Me.
Best museum: Joe Colemans. Worst museum: Your Mamas.
Describe the finest moment of your artistic endeavors: It was also my one of the worst. One of my films was showing @ New York Underground Film Festival. A friend I hadn’t seen in a long time showed up. He was a horrible site. He was dying of AIDS. How do I know? He told me. Walked up to me and said “I have AIDS, I’m dying, I haven’t been out of bed in weeks but I had to see your film.” It was a terrible and fantastic moment.
1. Favorite ANIMAL: The Beast In Me.
2. What gets you excited? Driving my enemies before me, and hearing the crys of their women.
3. Worst Job: Filling out questionnaires. Dream job: Getting paid to do what I do.
4. Best kept secret about NYC: If you don’t know then I ain’t saying.
5. What would you do if you found ALLOT of cash in a cab? Scores here I come.
6. Favorite website: Most embarrassing favorite website:
7. Early bird or night owl? Christ is this one of those myspace surveys?
8. Motto, mantra, words of advice, or favorite quote: I wanted a mission. And for my sins, they gave me one.
9. Name your favorite ISM. Don’t know what that is. Is that one of those dolls that art geeks collect? Or ism like pessimism?
10. If you invented a recreational drug, what would it be called? Drugs are bad OK?
11. What’s the greatest thing the internet has given mankind? Is this test being graded?
12. Who owes you something? Society, the skanky crack head roommate I just kicked out, owes me a beer. How much time do we have? I have a list.
13. How would you run the zoo? Like a BBQ. Really, it this almost over?
14. How do you kill time? Filling out long forms.
15. Favorite watering hole: Little sidewalk bar outside of the 7-11 in Bangkok.
16. Are you looking for anyone you’ve lost contact with? (maybe we could help) More like hiding, not looking.
17. Do you need anything really bad? Talent.
18. Any tips for the kids? Nope.
19. Shout outs: Ummm…ummmmm…not at this time. Are we done? Can I go now? When do I get my check? Don’t make me add your name to the list.
Name: Scott Machens