I like free stuff just as much as the next lady, but I’m also realistic about what I can get without opening up my wallet. To illustrate my point, I have created a list of Important Things I Have Gotten For Free…
1. One From the Vault (Grateful Dead). In 1992 I stole this from Tower Records…
by Amy Blair
by Amy Blair
I like free stuff just as much as the next lady, but I’m also realistic about what I can get without opening up my wallet. To illustrate my point, I have created a list of Important Things I Have Gotten For Free…
1. One From the Vault (Grateful Dead). In 1992 I stole this from Tower Records on West 4th Street. When the female officer searched me she missed One From the Vault, which I had stuffed in my sock. My mom was called, I was banned from the store, but those suckers never checked my ankles. And that shit was a double-cassette, too. What does this illustrate? You can get free stuff if you steal.
2. Hand-Me-Down Banana Republic Jeans. Truth be told, these jeans somewhat hurt my ego, as my friend had gotten too skinny for them and they fit me fine. But hell, they were worth like seventy dollars so how could I complain? They still had the tags on them, and all. What does this illustrate? You can get free stuff if you encourage your friends to starve.
3. George Foreman Grill. I received this for free with some office supplies I ordered at work. We use it about three times per week, living out our suburban pork chop dreams. Get one, and grill like dad in bad weather. What does this illustrate? Good things come to those who order toner cartridges.
4. Catcher’s Mask. The other softball team left it behind last year after we issued them a first-rate ass-kicking. And then we took their catcher’s mask. What does this illustrate? Unabashed opportunism on the softball diamond can land you some free sporting equipment.
5. My Cats. Someone just GAVE them to me. Unbelievable, right? What does this illustrate? There’s a sucker born every minute.
Friends, you may think you can get something for nothing (on craigslist) but like Don Henley said…Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses?
Does anyone think a handsome guy my age is still sexy? – 52
Hi,
I look and feel young and know I am, but when I go out, everyone seems younger compared to me. I am well built, intelligent, witty and fun, genuine and very cool. Do any of you nubile women still find me sexy? I have a recent pic. Anyone interested in making a virile, sensual, experienced, older guy smiling and happy?
Grandpa, the reason why everyone seems younger than you when you go out is because they are, in fact, less than half your age. When I’m 52 years old, I plan to wear support stockings, enjoy a high-fiber diet, complain about my hot flashes, and make love to my cats. More power to you for trying, but no “nubile†woman is going to hang with you (unless of course you hook her up with a sports car and an expense account). My advice? Try flirting with Nurse Mindy at the retirement home. She’ll at least humor you.
Glimpse of a fairy tail wedding… Please read this NYC
HI everybody i heard there was a great post about a FAIRY TAIL WEDDING posted on craigs list. can someone please direct me to the post cause i would really love to read it as i am planning a wedding in the same style and fashion. i wasnted to see what the bride wore ETC.iknow people from new york are of the utmost personalties. myself and my grooms to be are also planning our honeymoon in new york, we wanted to know if there is any possible way any Ny business owners could extend some free services to us. as you see myself and my groom to be are european royalty, and we know any NY business owner would love to have us patronize their establishment. as our arrival would cause the NY media to decend on us to take our picture , so we could be featured in hello mag, or star magazine etc. thank you New York for taking the time to read my most beautifal and excellent post…..cheers MINDA
OMG, you are SO right! People from New York ARE of the utmost personalities! (Especially when we’re at our fairy “tail†weddings). Although, I’ve got to say that I’m getting just a tad bit sick of all these so-called duchesses and whatnot getting all up in people’s faces about giving them free bridal services. I mean, just because you’ve got a crown doesn’t mean I’m going to cater your wedding for nothing, bitches.
But I’ve got to give credit where credit is due…it really WAS a most beautiful and excellent post.
My G-rated fantasy, DON’T LAUGH! – 29
First of all I’ve never done this before and just wanted to put it out there. I have a fantasy of getting to know someone through Email and phone conversations. We could talk for a few weeks and get to know each other to make sure we click well. When the time is right for both, we agree to meet which would entail the following. You would come over and we’d talk from time to time on your cell while you were on the way. When you’re close enough I leave the door open and wait for you inside. You take your clothes off at the door and come in naked. I guess a skirt or something would be easily removed. I never really get to the next part in my head because I’m used to going out with a girl for dinner. Obviously that can’t happen in this case so I haven’t figured out the next phase yet. Maybe we order in and have dinner naked together or watch a movie. The intriguing part about it is the meeting naked for the first time. So, stop laughing at me because it’s my little fantasy. If you have any good ideas or can help out please write me. I’m not looking for hookers or call girls of any kind or to pay for this. This is just something I’m putting out there in case a girl reads it and says, “wow, that guy has a cool imagination.
The key sentence here? “I’m not looking for hookers or call girls of any kind or to pay for this.†Honey, no amount of this cutesy-wutesy “I have a g-rated fantasy!†crap is going to convince any chick to prostitute herself for you for free. Unless of course she’s had a major brain trauma and/or is a retard.
Cheap bastard. “Cool imagination,†indeed.
SEEKING FREE PIZZA
I need some pizza, but like, i have no money. None. Is anyone able to give me FREE pizza? Like they’re able to order it and pay for it via credit card or something for me. You get to choose the toppings and you get to choose what kind of pizza it is. I love pizza, but don’t have much money.
Anyways, please email me back or contact me via AIM: GodsBurden82
I’m also looking for friends lol. I just moved to this area…. free pizza works for cementing friendship doesn’t it?
Don’t you just love people on drugs?
