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By Amy Blair
I think that it’s fairly obvious that my tighty-whities fetish is directly rooted in the fact that I watched Risky Business for the first time at a very impressionable young age (read: 27) and never quite got over it. The source of other people’s fantasies, however, isn’t always so simple to discern…


Not to brag or anything, but thankfully I just so happen to be a Certified Recreational Amateur Psychologist (C.R.A.P.), and am here to offer my analytical skills to those in need. Craigslisters, bring me your most deviant, sexual fantasies. In exchange, you give me a beer and I tell you just what the hell is awesome!

Fix Your Computer for Free – Lets Explore it Together – m4w – 38

I am Microsoft certified computer expert. I will load any software that it needs for free also. I can absolutely fix and solve your computer probelms for free !! All I would like you to consider is the below.
I would like to explore a life long fantasy after your computer is fixed.
While I am fixing your computer maybe you could slip into something exciting and turn on your DVD player with some porno !! They if you need my help with what your doing I will be glad to step in and offer my oral skills.
Use your imagination and it will be really fun and your computer will be fixed.

Wow. This dude has been harboring a LIFELONG fantasy about loading software onto some chick’s computer while she sits on the couch in her underwear watching porn? I don’t know…isn’t there something just so…precious about computer geeks? Starting today, I’m totally looking at the IT guy at my work in a whole new light.
Fascist Fantasy Girl FIND ME m4w – m4w – 21 (East Village)
If you have a fantasty that involves some sort of fascism I am game. I have one, lets explore it.

Well, I don’t EXACTLY have a fascism fantasy per se, but I do enjoy acting out a good genocide, a Klan rally or even “Scenes from Inside an Iraqi P.O.W. Camp” in bed. Will that work?

This Saturday, i need 3 bi- girls for fantasy sex ride in van – m4w – 55

We are going to have a sex romp. 3 girls and the well endowed driver, in a luxury {very private} large van.
You must be an absolutely clean and D/D free girl ,You can be straight or Bi .
Apply ASAP, only three females will be selected to take our sex ride. We will meet at a LIRR station and you will hop in the van.
Immediately shuck you clothes and enjoy yourselves naked in the back. No one will see you. The driver will drive the van and find a nice place to park. He will be joining you in our fantasy sex ride.
Wine will be served. Drink, Drink, and be merry. This is a Craigs first so don’t delay contacting me. Only the cream of the crop, wild and sexty women will qualiify. I want your pic and a short description of what you will be doing to the driver and other females in the van.

…and when we’re all finished with the nice, safe van ride I’m going to chop you up into a bunch of pretty little pieces and keep you in an industrial-size freezer that I had specially installed in my basement!
Sex Van! Sex Van! Aaaaaaawesome!
And now friends, feast your eyes upon one of the creepiest craigslist ads of all time (and that’s – obviously – saying a lot)…

Big Brother seeks Storybook Little Sister

Hello…
You’re a female who has always daydreamed about (1) being an inquisitive child, and (2) having a dear
older stepbrother, cousin. In “real” life, we two are consenting adults who share this Edwardian / Victorian, Grimms’ fairytale, pseudo-Euro-art-film, taboo vision.
Let’s get lost somewhere between gothic towers and rainswept gutters…
I: NYC-born, late 30s, mature yet boyish, street-smart, witty & funny (you, of course, know the difference), strong, well-read, sarcastic, informed by old and new pop cultures, theater, cartoons, vaudeville, history.
You: Small (if not in height, then in frame or manner); legal ‘Teens to very young 30s, with a secret: A smart mischievous little girl who still lives inside. As a child, you probably lugged around huge tomes, and were aware of your precocious “bookish” image.
(Wear glasses? skinny / curvy and/or geeky; unique and/or kinda weird, openly or secretly? Not mandatory… But very good.)
Whatever your beliefs, you might have odd tintype memories of the past. Be intelligent, sometimes
submissive but terribly sassy, perhaps a montage of girly and tomboy spunk… and most likely a wee dram embarassed, shy about your unusual tastes.
This is not a mere kink: Strong roleplay and ageplay of course; but also much siblinghood and
conversation — it’s quite natural for you to believe this is real.
So by all means, have your own relationship in your other, grownup life. As I do. But you and I keep in touch by e-mail, telegraph, lurking on a streetcorner. When we can, we meet up and play, fight, romp around. Let yourself go… and regress. I rescue you from all manner of dangers, escape from the (fictional?) “scary man in the park.” Roam ancient churchyards, dank alleyways; secretly mock passersby; or just watch the rain from a diner booth.
Tell me your desires, complaints and fantasies: I won’t be shocked by anything. I will mentor and
protect, comfort and scold you, make you laugh when you cry. I’ll be glad to advise you (your brother is
very smart, you know), and pick your eager inquisitive brain. I entertain you; brush your hair while you tell me your dreams. If outbursts are in your nature, I dodge your fury, hold and tease you while you wriggle; tickle you, and certainly spank you when you require: The extent, intensity and limits of our
relationship will go no further than what you can handle and tolerate, dear Baby Sister.
Go ahead… Be brave. Tell me what you need.
this is in or around Trinity Churchyard, 1880s-1920s

That’s right, you read through the entire ad thinking it couldn’t get any creepier…and then you got to the last line…“this is in or around Trinity Churchyard, 1880s-1920s.” And then, if you’re anything like me, you went to the front door and double-checked that the dead bolt was tightly in place before fading off into a nightmarish sleep.
You people seriously worry me.
Want to ROAR?
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