What’s the difference between making art and jerking off? Not much, really. Now, “Who Would Wood Wank?” explores this seminal question of our times. Co-created by Jefferson Hack, co-founder of Dazed & Confused and baby daddy to the daughter of Kate Moss, and artist Sarah Maple, who was raised Muslim in Sussex, England, this mini-movie is a masturbatory homage to the fine art of choking one’s chicken. Here, the paintbrush plays phallus, and the paint is cast in the role of jism. Also? Someone is wearing a Burqa. Is it a man? Is it a woman? I have no fucking clue. So click play, sit back, and enjoy the mysterious, slappy, wet sounds of acrylics being used instead of lube. Video: “Who Would Wood Wank?”