City Health Commissioner Dr. Thomas Frieden’s goal is to make every single smoking New Yorker quit. No matter what. He’d make cops stop you and force you to eat your pack of smokes—like an asshole father—if he could get away with it. As his former communications director Sandra Mullin said, “Whenever he sees anybody smoking in New York City, he considers it his fault.” For years, Frieden has watched other countries’ governments with extreme envy as they put vomitous anti-smoking images on cigarette packs. And now, thanks to Tommy’s single-mindedness, Gothamists—cigarette-smokers or not—are greeted with these clinical photos of black lung, throat cancer and gum disease when they pick up a book of matches at the local bodega. It’s part of the City’s “Eating You Alive” anti-smoking ad campaign. It’s also part of Frieden’s overall plan to eliminate human mortality. Next up on his ban list: sun exposure, absinthe, and one-night stands.