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Entrance to The Oaks and site of proposed Pitt guard tower.
Down at Los Angeles City Hall they’ll be voting on parking permits for a tiny parcel of Hollywood. Who give’s a rat’s ass you say, when the nation is spiraling into hell? Well in this smallest of city planning actions ANIMAL has uncovered a class war with Brad Pitt and his seemingly perpetually enceinte partner at the epicenter.
Spurred by the reappearance of Pitt, Jolie and progeny (how many, where they bought them, what they’re named now that’s what we don’t give a rat’s ass about) in the neighborhood some of Pitt’s affluent Hollywood Hills homeowner neighbors have petitioned the city to restrict parking around their gated community. But renters in an adjacent boho enclave—a bastion of affordable apartments down the hill from the mansions that includes a stretch of shops and restaurants—are outraged, labeling the power move “the Brad Pitt initiative.”


“This was spurred by an alleged heavy paparazzi presence on the street because of the Pitts,” activist Melanie Hughs told ANIMAL, “but they’re never here. They recently moved to France and have been in Texas filming, so what paparazzi presence are they talking about?”
Whether Brad is behind the parking fight or he’s being used by the homeowners remains unclear, but residents say everything was fine until Brangelina showed up. “They gave no consideration to the renters when they proposed this” says Hughes who is organizing residents to fight the people up the hill “the private homes all have driveways and the apartment buildings here, many don’t have parking. Now we’ll have more congestion on the streets, and get more tickets on street sweeping days.”
Another rattled resident said he’d likely move from the neighborhood he was drawn to because of the single block that emulates the Upper West Side. “This ain’t New York City, you can’t get here with the subway and parking is key to living,” says a local “I can’t have friends visit, they won’t be able to go out to catch comedy shows with me if they can’t park here. There is absolutely no reason for this; it’s just the wealthy throwing their influence around. If this comes to permit parking, I’m out of here.”
Parking issues aren’t the only problems neighborhors are having with the celebrity family. Brad Pitt and company planned to build a 14-foot tall guard tower at the entrance to the gated community The Oaks but that brilliant show of celebrity insanity was shot down by his neighbors-“this isn’t BelAir. It’s not consistent with the neighborhood,” said a local resident attending the community meeting.