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The Dutch vodka continues its crackbrained US ad campaign that reads like the scribblings of an unhinged drunk stalker. STOP WRITING ME, YOU CRAZY COOT! I think I speak for all New Yorkers when I say your cryptic kiosk notes freak us the fuck out. OK, I admit it: answering your insane missives by repeatedly wiping my ass with them probably wasn’t a smart psychological move. But…”One thousand words?” Yeah, we get the picture—you need about 1000 mg of lithium 3x per day. Get off the streets—New York has excellent social service programs. And stop hanging out with Belvedere.
-Copyranter