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Freedom may be a gift, as Pope Benedict XVI said on Wednesday. But so is a brand-new Defibtech Automated External Defibrillator! At least according to Defibtech’s president Gintaras Vaisnys, who presented the Pontiff with one of his company’s handy heart-jumpstarters before his trip to America.
Mr. Vaisnys assures us that “Pope Benedict was genuinely interested and immediately grasped how a defibrillator can save lives.” We say, Mr. Vaisnys should thank God for giving him a new Pope—the last one couldn’t grasp simple math in the years leading to his Great Journey to Heaven.
No word on whether or not the Pontiff is traveling with his new defibrillator. But fucking hell, the old guy’s 81. He probably should be.
-Jeff Koyen