Following in the missteps of many an advertiser, Starbucks this week placed their own New Yorker style cartoon ads in the magazine. And they’re painfully unentertaining. Click on them and gape and wince. Which one sucks worse? Tough call! A rooster that drinks coffee? HAHAHAHAHA! Or, a woman cooing like a mourning dove about a guy she just boned—because he likes the same burnt Joe as her. Both are about cocks! In fact the captions are interchangeable. Go ahead and switch ’em, the cartoons still make perfect sense. OK, here, I’ll take literally 30 seconds and write my own captions. ROOSTER: “I can’t believe Edgar can crow, let alone walk, after last night’s threesome. Must be the Starbucks.” WOMAN: “Ten inch dick and he likes Starbucks Breakfast Blend.” Again, they’re interchangeable.