(Click image for el grande)
Although simply illustrated and painstakingly generic, this Taco Bell customer training comic strip and ‘Cheesy Beefy Melt‘ combo decal is hugely insightful into how shitty it must be to work for the burrito mill. Especially with all the rules and regulations that definitely don’t encourage staff to “Think Outside the Bun.” Besides actually specifying how much time you have to wait to initially greet customers—5 seconds—and how long you must then linger if they don’t answer—another 5 seconds—there’s all sorts of goodies in here, like their corporately constructed model for dealing with mistakes L.A.S.T: Listen, Apologize, Satisfy, Thank.

Then you have the explicit food-selling flow chart. For example, if patrons don’t order drinks with their meal, employees must remind them how thirsty they are, but if they did get something to sip on, there’s very specific rules for non-engagement: “No Further Suggestive Sell.” The best mandate, however, comes by way of the rather precise smile requirements. Better not think about flashing some lethargic grin, it’s needs to be a smile that “expresses enthusiasm and friendliness.” Considering their wage, screw the smile, just don’t spit in the food and we’ll be happy.