Evil Empirical
Each week, ANIMAL will rank the world’s most despicable, deplorable, and undesirable human beings walking the earth, making the news. Behold: Evil Empirical.
David Letterman
Letterman’s grouchiness has been instrumental to his shtick for the last few years as Late Night’s reigning king (just not in the ratings, though.) But his attacks on the right wingers (McCain, O’Reilly) have become a little too transparent and tiresome. His most egregious offense of late? Thrusting Sarah Palin back into the spotlight as a martyr for late night comedy ridicule. You’ve made her a sympathetic figure, Dave. Time to pick a new target.
James Von Brunn
Holocaust denier? Check. Nazi sympathizer? Check. Cantankerous old man blinded by hate? Check. Murderer? Check. James Von Brunn is a veritable Western omelet of the type of evil that can spring forth from Americas cultural melting pot. The retribution from like-minded individuals for Von Brunn’s almost-massacre at the Holocaust Museum could be swift and terrifying.
Bret Michaels
Oh Bret. Your blissful unawareness about your slimy awfulness hath struck you smack on the nose. Consider the Tony Awards set crashing on your face a warning shot from God to just stop the lame attempts at reinvigorating a career. Plus? Ditch the wig. You’re not fooling anyone that it’s 1987.
Rev. Wright
Speaking of people who may have a little James Von Brunn in them…welcome back, Rev. Wright! “I’m not talking about all Jews, all people of the Jewish faith, I’m talking about Zionists. I’m talking about facts, historical facts. I’m not talking about emotionally charged words.” “The Jews” in question are the ones preventing him from meeting with President Barack Obama so he claims.
Most Evil: Fate’s Wheel
Johana Ganthaler and her husband accidentally missed their flight on the doomed Air France 447. They hopped on the next flight available and then landed safely in Germany where, emboldened by a new sense of energy for life and celebrating their enormous luck, decided to drive back to their home in Italy. Unfortunately, they were on the wrong side of the road and Ganthaler was killed in a head-on collision with another vehicle. Those Final Destination movies are no joke.
Editor-in-Chief:
The following time I learn a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I know it was my option to read, however I actually thought youd have something fascinating to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you could repair when you werent too busy on the lookout for attention.