Why can’t you people see how sorry Kanye is? Look, he didn’t mean to destroy America’s new painfully nordic, country-crooning sweetheart, he couldn’t help it because he’s a black man from Chicago and all black men from Chicago have been programmed by Bill Ayers to destroy America! Nevertheless, Kanye has issued yet another heartfelt, all-caps apology on his blog:

So you see America, Kanye is Gaylord Focker, and you’re all a big meanie father-in-law with a thorny stick up his old ass. What Kanye did last night is no different from the time Focker spiked the volleyball in that nice girl’s face in the pool. It was all an accident, so check yourself and step the fuck off, okay!