‘Real American’ Iowa Conservatives Miffed by Sarah Palin’s Attempts to Fleece Them

Hey remember when Sarah Palin quit being Governor of Alaska because she’s a big baby who was too incompetent to do the job? Remember how she said she was quitting so she could go out and help spread the Republican message using her oh-so-honed public speaking skillz? Well, a group of Iowa Republicans remembered her making that promise, so they asked her to travel there to speak to them at a chicken dinner banquet, to which Sarah, Queen of Main Street America, responded, “Sure…you betcha…that’ll be $100,000 please! Read more »

Missing The Hipster Grifter: Her Former Cellmate Speaks

Kari Ferrell’s former cellmate, Jerzy Mitchell, is officially breathing fresh air again and no longer making mascara from pencil shavings and toothpaste. She was released from jail on October 22nd and although she’s enjoying her freedom, the 22-year-old from Salt Lake City is also missing her prison partner. What’s to miss you ask? Mitchell writes: Read more »

Catholics Pissed at Larry David for Pissing on Jesus

Oh Catholics! When they’re not aiding and abetting kid-fucking they’re drinking cheap wine and eating bland wafers while crying about the persecution of Catholics. I know this because I was raised in a Catholic family and was forced to attend church every Sunday, go to catechism, volunteer to be an altar boy, suck off the parish Monsignor, etc. So I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised that some Catholic groups have ridiculously taken offense to a plotline in this week’s episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm in which the forceful pee stream of Larry David, a Godless Jew, caused a painting of Jesus to be splattered with a drop of urine. |E Online|

Bloomberg Makes Bet He Knows He’ll Win

Despite last night’s lashing, there’s really no chance that the Phillies will win the World Series, but Bloomberg decided to make a cutesy bet with the mayor of Philadelphia—whoever that is—anyway. If the Yankees lose, the billionaire mayor (and term limit trampler) will don the rival team’s jersey and pretend to paint a mural in the so called City of Brotherly Love. Can you imagine that? Not the Yankees losing, but Bloomberg actually doing manual labor? Me neither. |Philly|

Ad Creep Update: Flies

Earlier this week, the US military revealed that’s it’s getting closer to realizing a fully operational squadron of robo-beetles for recon missions. But a couple of weeks ago, German publishing house Eichborn unleashed 200 “fliegenbanners” on startled conventioneers at the Frankfurt book fair. Ad agency Jung von Matt/Nectar says the mini-banners were designed “so that the fly could fly with it, but low and for short distances, constantly landing on visitors.” And I’m sure more than a couple of the winged mediums were then subsequently squished. This stunt was apparently part of the agency’s rebranding of the publisher as “der verlag mit der fliege” (the publishing house with flies [WHAT?]). PETA, you thought the Obama Insect Incident was cruel? Jump for video. Read more »

Canadian Singer-Songwriter Killed By Coyotes

Taylor Mitchell, a 19 year-old singer-songwriter from Toronto, was killed by coyotes when she went hiking alone in a national park in Nova Scotia, where she was touring at the time. Park authorities said that such attacks are extremely rare and that the coyotes probably thought Mitchell was a deer or something. So ridiculously sad. |Huff Po|