Twitter gives the world access to people’s most mundane details and it’s amazing how many women love to announce to the world that, yes, they’re on the rag. Here are today’s brave, bloated over-sharers.

That’s actually not entirely true Patricia Noorzai. You see, if a guy’s smart, he’ll have you come over anyway, pretending not to care about sex all the while because he just wants to spend time with YOU. But if he’s slick, he’ll bide some time and then start kissing you on the neck and massaging you, i.e., doing things to make you horny. Then, you’ll usually cave and just say, “well I guess we can lay a towel down” or you’ll just let him bone you in the butt. Or you’ll give him a blowjob. Either way, the guy wins for faking chivalry!

A “wetty?” I’m guessing that’s the chick version of a woody? I’m shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that I’ve never heard that one before.

Finally! I tell you, the period-havers of the world have had it easy for too long. It’s way past time for those freeloaders to pay the fuck up. Now cue Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh ranting about Obama hating women.

I’m sorry, but Halloween is tomorrow and I just couldn’t pass up a menstruating vampire joke.