Tonight disgraced pageant broad Carrie Prejean, the most wind-maligned human in the history of the universe, was on Sean Hannity’s show, as she often is, to discuss some horrible book she’s “written” about her ascension into martyrdom that’s hitting the bookstores.

Naturally, Hannity, the staunch defender of all that is virtuous and morally pure in Americaland, immediately asked the synthetically-enhanced Nordic cum-dumpster sitting across from him about the sex tape she stars in that TMZ is rumored to have in its possession, and the cum-dumpster went on to explain that JUST ONE TIME, when she was even sweeter and younger and innocenter than she is now, A LONG TIME AGO, Carrie was in love, WITH A BOY, and for him she made a nice naked video of herself, WHEN NO OTHER HUMANS WERE AROUND, it was probably just her in a room with an engorged German shepherd, a crucifix and an oblong, bulbous zucchini, and then she sent the video to this man she thought she loved, because she was young and impossibly stupid, UNLIKE NOW, and he betrayed her, LIKE JUDAS, by selling this totally innocent, painfully Christian naked video to a sleazy website.

So now Carrie has been victimized by the liberals, once again, just like when it was revealed that she’d accidentally posed nude and then had her trust betrayed by sleazy photographers, but she’s now learned from her mistakes and wants to be a role model for your children, but the aforementioned mean ole liberals keep calling her a hypocrite. However, luckily for Carrie, it’s all okay, because Sean Hannity gets her, and thus Jesus forgives her for all of her sins and she’ll surely spend eternity in heaven, unlike the Godless sodomites of the world. The end.