Narcotics officers discovered 61 lbs. of cocaine and almost a million dollars cash in an apartment in Williamsburg on Wednesday, leading to the arrest of three individuals and the collective cries of neighborhood residents. |NYP|

Eric Haze Opens Symbolic Show

Hoping to reestablish himself as more than a designer and brand name, Eric Haze opened a solo art show last night. “New Abstracts and Icons” features some boldly repetitive paintings, drawings and sculptures which represent a different direction in the former graffiti writer’s work. Still, Haze carries on a limited color palette among other symbology which you can see, sans musical accompaniment by A-Trak and Neil Armstrong, at the new Level 2 Gallery. |Arrested Motion|

“New Abstracts and Icons,” November 19 – December 10, Level 2 Gallery, 812 Broadway

Why is Jude Law Beaning NYU Students With Citrus Fruits?

Aw, poor Jude Law! The dandy little Brit thespian with the Herculean sperm came to New York to get his Shakespeare on, and now he’s pissed that students living in a NYU dorm in the village can peer down upon his fancy balcony, so he’s taken to hurling oranges at them whenever he catches someone looking out their window at him. Note to Jude Law: It’s New York, asshole! If you don’t want neighbors spying on you, move the hell someplace else. Idiot! Someone please whip this guy’s ass, and soon. |New York Post|

The Hipster Grifter Is Now Free!

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Kari Farrell was released from her Salt Lake City jail cell early this morning, after serving six or so months for grifting people. An official confirmed that she’d been released. Soon, Farrell may be back in NYC filling her hallway with the hot dogs of many a bearded man once again. You’ve been warned!

Photo by Will Sherman/ANIMALnewyork

‘Heidi Klum of Foot Models’ Terrorized After Boning the Help

Angel Rotger must have really pissed off his co-workers at 340 East 74th street when he started hooking up with foot model Christina Ambers, one of the building’s residents, because they all turned against the porter and the object of his affection, probably out of seething jealously that they weren’t getting to bone fancy foot models, after the relationship commenced, eventually leading to marriage. Read more »

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Every Time You Fly You Knock A Polar Bear Off A Cloud

Just in time for Christmas! Are you gleefully anticipating the cutesy digital Coca-Cola-drinking holiday polar bear family? Well this is not that. But it does have cutesy digital polar bears—falling to their deaths from 30,000 feet. Read more »

Sarah Palin’s Quitting Disease Must Have Infected Oprah or Something

Today America is in mourning after learning last night that their beloved thuggish overlord/fast food terrorist is cold quitting her syndicated show in 2011, thus leaving a gaping void in human freakshow television in the mid-afternoons on weekdays. Obviously, the appearance by noted quitter Sarah Palin on her show earlier in the week had some sort of profound voodoo effect on Oprah. What will America ever do? |ABC|

Metrocard ‘Art’ Not Making Anyone Feel Better About Crappy Service, Lives

Have you had a crap day recently only to flip over your Metrocard, notice the word “optimism” printed on the back, and suddenly think, “Oh, yeah, optimism!” and suddenly your frown turned upside down? Of course you haven’t! Regardless, 7 million cards have already been distributed with the word “optimism” printed on the back, and 7 million more will be distributed in the coming weeks, all part of an effort to help downtrodden New Yorkers feel better about their lives, particularly when they’ve been standing on the subway platform for a half hour waiting for a goddamn train. “Yes, maybe that F train will come someday if I will it to through the power of positive thinking.” Good lord. Read more »

Parting Shot: House Boat

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Street artists Posterchild and I AM appropriated a Williamsburg rooftop as their canvas for this subtle seafaring scene. |Blade Diary|

Image via Blade Diary

Artist Visualizes Music, Composes Collage

Mixing mediums and meanings, Gonzalo Papantonakis creates colorful images on drug wars, rock and roll and other reflections from his childhood to current affairs. Raised in Uruguay and Argentina, the Los-Angeles based artist imbues his canvases with written words, abstract imagery and sheet music which continues his “See Music” concept of “sound made visible.” Tonight, Gallery Nine 5 opens a solo exhibition for Papantonakis, “Santa Fe Avenue,” which is on view through November.

“Santa Fe Avenue,” November 13 – 30, Gallery Nine 5, 24 Spring Street