Wow…there’s so much going on with the Alaskan cock-gangsta today that I don’t even know where to begin. Here’s a tease…Levi is having concerns over the appearance of his dong in his upcoming Playgirl spread, William Shatner mocks Levi on the Tonight Show by doing a dramatic reading of Levi’s tweets, Levi says that the Tonight Show “shat” on him, and Levi insinuates that Trig Palin may actually be his son. Buckle up folks.

First off, Page Six reports today that Levi is worried that his great Alaskan dong will look shriveled in Playgirl after one of the locations for the shoot was an ice rink.

If that wasn’t enough, Levi’s tweets got the Shatner treatment last night…

Now Levi’s pissed because he says the Tonight Show made fun of tweets written by a fake twitterer.

And then last night Levi seemed to imply that he was Trigg’s baby-daddy…

This is all so very confusing.