In what has to be a hoax unless Lucifer himself has taken up residence on Earth, Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt claims that an unscrupulous Russian luxury yacht company is offering pirate hunting cruises along the Somali coast. For nearly $6000 a day, passengers can ply the coastal waters in a heavily armed boat going just 5 knots in hopes of drawing a pirate attack.
When attacked, they retaliate with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers. Passengers, who can pay an extra 5 Dollar a day for an AK-47 machine gun and 12 Dollar for 100 rounds of ammo, are also protected by a squad of ex special forces troops.
Somali Cruises offers more topical satire, advertising â€œmost cruises offer a mini-barâ€”We offer a mounted Mini-Gun,â€ as well as testimonials like, â€œI bagged three pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun.â€ Still, there’s a slight chance it could be real, the world’s a cruel place after all, Michael Jackson is dead.