Anyone who’s ever had any dealings with Bank of America has come away hyper-aware of this universal truth: Bank of America sucks more camel’s balls than any entity in the history of free enterprise. Seriously, they’re the fucking worse. So it should come as no surprise that one fed-up customer named Dalton Chiscolm has filed what may be the most hilarious lawsuit in the history of the American legal system against Bank of America for their exceedingly shitty customer service.
Chiscolm in August sued the largest U.S. bank and its board, demanding that “1,784 billion, trillion dollars” be deposited into his account the next day. He also demanded an additional $200,164,000, court papers show.
“Incomprehensible,” U.S. District Judge Denny Chin said in a brief order released Thursday in Manhattan federal court.
“He seems to be complaining that he placed a series of calls to the bank in New York and received inconsistent information from a ‘Spanish wom[a]n,’” the judge wrote. “He apparently alleges that checks have been rejected because of incomplete routing numbers.”
Judge Chin gave Chiscolm until Oct. 23 to better explain the basis for his claims, or else see his complaint dismissed.
I can’t wait to hear the explanation. In the meantime, let’s all tip our caps to Dalton Chiscolm, a true American hero.