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You know who you don’t want to fuck with in prison? Bernie Madoff, that’s who! You especially don’t want to fuck with Bernie Madoff about stocks. So don’t roll up in the yard spouting off horseshit about the wisdom of short-selling corn futures, because Bernie will straight open up a can of whup-ass on you, just like he did some old dude recently.

I’m guessing that Madoff, who hired a “prison consultant” to provide him with survival tips for his new life inside the joint, was following the old rule that you go after someone in full view of other inmates to scare everyone out of messing you. Or something.

Reports the New York Post:

Madoff, serving 150 years at the Butner, NC, federal prison, was heard last week getting into a heated debate over the state of the market with another senior-citizen jailbird.

The shouting match got so heated that the inmate pushed Madoff, who shoved back harder with both hands, causing his attacker to stumble.

As the attacker tried to stand up straight, Madoff hovered over him red-faced and glaring, eyewitnesses said.

The stunned attacker went chicken and took off — allowing Madoff to collect some “cred” among his fellow prisoners.

“I didn’t think Bernie had it in him. He got the best of him; he was really aggressive, and the other guy was in shock that he fought back,” an inmate said.

Fellow inmates said that the scuffle took place on a ball field out of view of the prison’s guards, who would have thrown Madoff and his victim into the hole had they been spotted scuffling. The two reportedly kissed and made up the next day.

Again, if you get locked up, don’t you dare fuck with Brawlin’ Bernie. Consider yourself warned.