Aw hell, we Brooklynites might as well face it…we’re all gonna die…soon. If the damn pig AIDS or various mutations of STDs don’t get us, the current outbreak of the mumps, yes, the mumps, will. So we all might as well get stoned and laid and make the best of it.

I mean, really, the mumps? This is something we need to be worried about now? I don’t thing I’ve heard of anyone getting the mumps since Troy Lebeouf in my first grade class went down for a week with them. Reports FoxNY:

New York City’s Health and Mental Hygiene Department is warning doctors about a mumps outbreak in Brooklyn.

The cases started turning up in late August.

The outbreak began among children from Borough Park who attended summer camp in Upstate New York.

So far, 57 confirmed or probable cases have been identified. Cases of mumps have continued to occur in Borough Park since the start of the school year.

The victims have ranged in age from 1 to 42 years of age. Most of the cases are among children ages 10-15 years old.

Update your wills everyone.

Mumps PSA via