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“Family values” conservative Republican Senator David Vitter of Louisiana is famous for two things: 1) His love of shitting in diapers for low-grade prostitutes and 2) being that asshole who whips out the “Do you know who I am?” card to avoid waiting in lines.

So it probably shouldn’t come as any surprise that Vitter doesn’t like to wait in line for coffee, something old people often refer to as “push water” for its ability to enhance bowel movements. Politico reported today about Vitter’s recent antics at a popular DC coffee shop:

The cafe was jammed Wednesday afternoon — with about a dozen tired staffers and visitors waiting patiently on line for caffeine boosts — when Vitter, the Louisiana Republican, Rhodes Scholar and sex scandal survivor, strolled in, according to an eyewitness.

Walking past the throng, Vitter peered nonchalantly at the display case, like he was perusing the goods — then jutted his arm up, attracting the attention of an employee, who dutifully served him his Joe.

“I was like, ‘What?’” said POLITICO’s incredulous spy. “But you couldn’t say anything. I mean, he’s a Senator.”

Wait, WHAT? Politico’s source said nothing? To a repugnant sex fiend like Vitter? Are you fucking kidding me? There should be videos of Poopy McChristian being verbally assaulted in that coffee shop all over YouTube right now! This is why Washington is dysfunctional…No one in that town has any balls.

David Vitter, the assclown to end all assclowns, was probably late to meet some hooker who was waiting for him in some cheap motel with a pack of Huggies. If there is a God up in heaven, he will lose to porn star Stormy Daniels in 2010. Oh that’d be a great day for human beings everywhere, especially human beings who love delicious irony!