Cheney-Torture

Well you just knew miserable old prick Dick Cheney would come creeping out of his cave any day now to blame Obama for America’s future destruction at the hands of al Qaeda cock-bombers, and he issued a statement today that does not disappoint.

Here is what Cheney told Politico:

As I’ve watched the events of the last few days it is clear once again that President Obama is trying to pretend we are not at war. He seems to think if he has a low key response to an attempt to blow up an airliner and kill hundreds of people, we won’t be at war. He seems to think if he gives terrorists the rights of Americans, lets them lawyer up and reads them their Miranda rights, we won’t be at war. He seems to think if we bring the mastermind of 9/11 to New York, give him a lawyer and trial in civilian court, we won’t be at war.

He seems to think if he closes Guantanamo and releases the hard-core al Qaeda trained terrorists still there, we won’t be at war. He seems to think if he gets rid of the words, ‘war on terror,’ we won’t be at war. But we are at war and when President Obama pretends we aren’t, it makes us less safe. Why doesn’t he want to admit we’re at war? It doesn’t fit with the view of the world he brought with him to the Oval Office. It doesn’t fit with what seems to be the goal of his presidency – social transformation—the restructuring of American society. President Obama’s first object and his highest responsibility must be to defend us against an enemy that knows we are at war.

So the Republicans are pissed that Obama waited three days to make a comment on cock-bomb-gate. Any guesses as to how long it was before either Bush or Cheney commented on Richard Reid’s attempted shoe bomb detonation aboard a plane in December of 2001? Six days. You can cut the irony with a knife with these assholes.

Also, why the hell is Dick Cheney so unhealthily fucking obsessed with war and whether or not Obama is saying the word “war” frequently enough to appeal to his blood-lusty fetishes?

Illustration by Zina Saunders