Back in the 1990s, former Chicago Cubs first baseman Mark Grace coined the term “slump-buster” to describe a ritual in which he and other ball players mired in hitting slumps would go out and sleep with the most dowdy baseball groupies they could find, thinking that by giving something back to the universe in the form of throwing these women a bone, the universe would in turn help them come out of their hitting slumps. Now, considering that the Yankees were sucking so dreadfully bad early in the season, only to turn it around right around the time that Alex Rodriguez starting dating Kate Hudson, and considering that A-Rod has in the past been one of the biggest post-season choke artists in baseball history, only to turn that legendary streak of failure around this post-season with K-Hud in the stands cheering him on, is it safe to go ahead and label Kate Hudson as one of the greatest, if not the greatest, slump-busters of all-time?
Now, obviously, it’s still a wee bit premature to judge seeing that the ALCS and the World Series have yet to be played, but based solely on the body of work she’s put together so far, she’s definitely a front runner. Any casual observer of the sport can easily see that A-Rod seems to be a new man out there on the field this year. His anus seems considerably looser than it’s been in the past. He seems more footloose and fancy free, like a kid out there just having a good time, which is exactly what a good slump-busting by an artfully skilled slump-buster is supposed to do.
Now, I know that some would make the argument that Kate Hudson isn’t exactly the first person who comes to mind when one thinks of the word “dowdy.” Some would point to the fact that she’s a big glamorous movie star person, a movie star person with a penchant for starring in cinematic abortions, but a movie star person nonetheless. To all of this I say BALDERDASH! Kate Hudson is a marginally cute dunderhead, which makes her most definitely a slump-buster, OKAY!!!
Further, when you really stop and think about it, the story of K-Hud and A-Rod has all the makings of a crappy Kate Hudson rom-com, doesn’t it? A rom-com titled, naturally, The Slumpbuster…the story of a slumping athlete whose life, soul and career are resurrected by an equally slumping actress. This shit is just writing itself.
Then again, maybe Cynthia Rodriguez, A-Rod’s ex-wife, is just the biggest succubus in all the land and him shedding her is the reason for his recent turn of fortune? Personally, I prefer the “Kate Hudson is the world’s greatest slumpbuster” storyline, but maybe that’s just me.
And oh yeah…GEAUX YANKEES!