A justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, a stretch of land bordering Mississippi in the northern portion of Louisiana’s boot best known for unleashing Britney Spears upon the world, has refused to grant a marriage license to an interracial couple out of “concern for the children.”

Keith Bardwell says that he’s not racist, you see, as he performs ceremonies for regular ole blacks all the the damn time and used to laugh at Bill Cosby when he had a show and occasionally will buy some fruit from the black guy with the stand on the side of the road, but for a black and white to be marrying, well, that just ain’t right in his world.

“I do ceremonies for black couples right here in my house,” Bardwell said. “My main concern is for the children.”

Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.

“I don’t do interracial marriages because I don’t want to put children in a situation they didn’t bring on themselves,” Bardwell said. “In my heart, I feel the children will later suffer.”

If he does an interracial marriage for one couple, he must do the same for all, he said.

“I try to treat everyone equally,” he said.

Thank goodness for people like Keith Bardwell, people who are always watchful, ever vigilant, saving the world from itself, because if there’s one group of people who are disadvantaged, who turn out ugly and stupid and looked down upon by humanity, it’s the children who are the product of interracial relationships.

Pic of Obama’s parents via Boston.com