gossip-girl-braunstein-1 Hey remember Peter Braunstein, the deranged former Women’s Wear Daily writer/editor/sex fiend who posed as a fireman to rape a Chelsea woman he was obsessing over in 2005? Well, he occasionally writes long, unhinged diatribes to the New York Post, and a recent one contains a doozy of a revelation: his anticipation for season three of Gossip Girl is just about the only thing keeping him from killing himself in prison!

Of all the shows to live for…fucking Gossip Girl?! Really?

“There’s another incentive or two for staying in the game, namely, Season 3 of ‘Gossip Girl,’ ” says the suicidal, stir-crazy sex fiend in a seven-page, handwritten letter to The Post.

“But still I ask myself: Sure, it’s probably going to be great, but is ‘Gossip Girl’ in and of itself reason enough to stay alive? We’ll see.”

In other news, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed said that his undying love for Tyler Perry’s Meet the Browns is the only thing standing between him and a bed sheet noose.