phnx121109b_fingerprints Just when you thought only retarded movies like Smokin’ Aces could come up with implausible plot lines involving a criminal who takes extreme measures to remove his fingerprints to avoid getting ID’d by authorities comes the true story of convicted cocaine seller William Wallace Keegan.

Sure, he didn’t chew his off fingertips like Pasquale Acosta, but he did try and have them “altered” according to the DEA:

During the trial, the evidence showed that Keegan had all 10 fingers surgically altered in the 1990’s to obliterate his fingerprints above the first joint. A Drug Enforcement Administration forensic fingerprint analyst was able to match the lower joint fingerprints from the arrest under the name of Richard King in January 2008 with a 1977 arrest, confirming his identity as William Wallace Keegan.

He was busted in 2008 during a sting operation in Long Island and was sentenced to five concurrent life sentences bringing his 30-year career to quite the anticlimactic end.