Meghan-Mccain Quick, somebody, preferably a well-endowed young Republican with a trust fund, rescue this damsel in distress, John McCain’s perpetually confused dunderhead of a daughter, as she has clogged her drain with her flowing blond locks and has absolutely no idea how to use the weird, utterly baffling Drano stuff to unclog it, according to her Twitter.

Naturally Meghan, as is her proclivity, deleted her panicked, confusion-laden tweets as soon as the little “this makes me look like a total jackass” light inside her wee brain went off. Luckily, we were able to screengrab them before she saw the light…

I am trying to be an adult ..._1260988289125

I am unclear about how to ..._1260988882446

any plumbers follow me on ..._1260988385933

For those of you who haven’t used Drano previously (and really, who other than the pampered daughter of a booze heiress and a U.S. Senator hasn’t?), all you do is pour the shit down the drain, wait 15 minutes, run some water, and voila, the drain is unclogged 99% of the time.

Regardless, surely someone will come to her rescue, since Twitter is just overflowing with plumbers, right?! Too bad she and her Dad’s buddy Joe the Plumber aren’t all that tight anymore after she called him a “dumbass.” Pot meet kettle.