chess_1474122cOkay, I want you to close your eyes, umkay? Got ‘em closed? Good! Now, think of the most revolting piece of lost art you can ever imagine emerging from some dead person’s collection. If you guessed a picture of Hitler and Lenin playing chess inside the home of a prominent Jewish family in Vienna circa 1909 (Autographed by both men no less!), then you win a Double Stuff Oreo!

The aforementioned etching of two of the 20th century’s most notorious figures, titled “A Chess Game: Lenin with Hitler – Vienna 1909,” was allegedly done by Hitler’s Jewish art teacher Emma Lowenstramm. Fearing that they might be exterminated by Hitler, the family whose home played host to the chess game captured in the picture fled the country in the run-up to World War II and left many of their possessions to their non-Jewish housekeeper, whose great-great grandson is now trying to sell the etching. Reports the Telegraph:

Richard Westwood-Brookes, who is selling the items, said: “This just sounds too good to be true, but the vendor’s father spent a lifetime proving it.

“He compiled a 300 page document and spent a great deal of money engaging experts to examine the etching.

“The signatures in pencil on the reverse are said to have an 80 per cent chance of being genuine, and there is proof that Emma Lowenstramm did exist.

“The circumstantial evidence is very good on top of the paper having been tested.

“At the time, Vienna was a hotbed of political intrigue and the house where this game took place belonged to a prominent Jewish family.

“Lenin at the time was moving around Europe in exile and writing “Materialism and Empirio-criticism”.

“His movements are hazy and it is known that he did play chess and later he certainly wore wigs as a disguise.

“It is also known that Lenin was a German agent and the house was where people went to exchange political views.

The only thing that could possibly top this would be a picture of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and Kim Jong Il playing Twister at Rush Limbaugh’s place in Palm Beach, and even that probably wouldn’t come close to touching the sheer absurdity of this fucking thing.