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Oh my! Have you heard of Mike Schwartz? Me neither! Well, not until a couple of days ago anyway, when I first read about his imbecilic comments about homosexuality at the Values Voters Summit in Washington over the weekend. But I had not seen the creepy video of him talking about all the time he spends with adolescent boys and how he admires their hatred for gay people and their ass-fucking ways until the Daily Show broke it down last night.

Schwartz, the chief of staff to evangelical Christian Sen. Tom Coburn, held a discussion on “The New Masculinity” at the summit, where he said the following:

But it is my observation that boys at that age have less tolerance for homosexuality than just about any other class of people. They speak badly about homosexuality. And that’s because they don’t want to be that way. They don’t want to fall into it. And that’s a good instinct. After all, homosexuality, we know, studies have been done by the National Institute of Health to try to prove that its genetic and all those studies have proved its not genetic. Homosexuality is inflicted on people.

Schwartz then went on to cite “good conversations” he had with a “very good friend” of his who suffered through the “malady” of gayness, specifically recalling this “astonishingly insightful remark”:

And one of the things that he said to me, that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark. He said, “all pornography is homosexual pornography because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards. Now think about that. And if you, if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to go out and get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants.” You know, that’s a, that’s a good comment. It’s a good point and it’s a good thing to teach young people.

So what have we learned here kids? We’ve learned that Mike Schwartz has probably had cocks inserted into one or more of his bodily orifices at some point in his life, just like Tom Delay.

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