SARAH PALIN

Hey remember when Sarah Palin quit being Governor of Alaska because she’s a big baby who was too incompetent to do the job? Remember how she said she was quitting so she could go out and help spread the Republican message using her oh-so-honed public speaking skillz? Well, a group of Iowa Republicans remembered her making that promise, so they asked her to travel there to speak to them at a chicken dinner banquet, to which Sarah, Queen of Main Street America, responded, “Sure…you betcha…that’ll be $100,000 please!

You’d think that perhaps Palin, still rumored to be a Republican presidential candidate in 2012 with a book coming out in a few weeks, would be eager to have an audience of potential book-buyers and campaign supporters in Iowa, a state whose early caucus can make or break a presidential candidate. But no, Trixie Klondyke said “PAY ME!” to the poor Iowans:

Representatives from other Iowa-based political advocacy groups said they would never consider shelling out money for what many politicians see as a privilege: the opportunity to speak to a room full of sure-fire caucus-goers who often serve as precinct captains and can be instrumental to a presidential candidate’s success

“If somebody tells me they want me to pay an appearance fee, it tells me they’re not very serious about running for president,” said Ed Failor, Jr., president of Iowans for Tax Relief and an influential GOP insider.

“I found it really, really odd,” Failor said.

He noted that his group had not and never would pay for a politician to speak—pointing out the obvious in-kind contribution any potential presidential hopeful receives by appearing in the state that kicks off the presidential nominating process.

“They come and show up here because they want to be relevant in Iowa,” he said.

Not to be deterred, some members of Palin’s death-cult are scraping the ashtrays of their pick-ups for leftover change from runs to 7-11 for cigarettes and Hot Pockets in a desperate attempt to raise 100k to pay the maverick-y maverick’s ransom:

At the request of the Iowa Family Policy Center, Team Sarah, a national pro-Palin organization not formally connected to the former governor, has begun raising money among its members in an effort to collect the $100,000.

You gotta hand it to Sarah Palin…she’s a true capitalist.