adolf-hitlers-gold-bookmark-1 With the help of the Spanish National Police, INTERPOL, the Seattle Police Department, the Port of Seattle Police Department, the Bellevue Police Department and an attaché in Madrid, Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) proudly announced the sentencing of a Washington man for trying “to sell a gold bookmark that is believed to have belonged to Adolf Hitler.” He’ll face a whole month in prison after failing to pawn off the stolen relic for $100k in a Seattle Starbucks. It was taken from a Madrid auction house before a collector of mass murder memorabilia was able to bid on it.

The swastika decorated bookmark bears the evil face of the Führer and was reportedly a gift from his mistress Eva Braun after the Nazis got their asses handed to them in Stalingrad. It was engraved with words: “My Adolf, don’t worry…(the deafeat)…was only an inconvenience that will not break your certainty of victory.”