BREAKING: Kanye West has called Taylor Swift to apologize after she told the ladies of The View that she had not heard from the Twatzi since he raped her soul in front of the entire world on Sunday night. Details of the call are not known, but we can certainly speculate, can’t we? Oh yes we can!
Kanye: YO TAYLOR, IT’S KANYE. I WAS JUST WATCHIN YOU ON THE VIEW AT THE CRIB. WHAT UP?
Taylor: Um, well, hello Kanye.
Kanye: YO TAYLOR I’M SOOOOO SORRY BUT MY MOMMA DIED AND I’MMA A HUGE CELEBRITY.
Taylor: Yes, and…
Kanye: LOOK, I’M NOT GOOD AT THIS APOLOGIZING SHIT, SO IMMA WRITE A SONG ABOUT IT 2MRW!!!!!!! BOOOOOOYAAAAAAAAWWWWW!!!!!
Taylor: Well, thank you Kanye, but…
Kanye: YO TAYLOR MY MOMMA DIED AND I’MMA SUPERSTAR AND ALL DIS CAN JUST BREAK A BROTHA DOWN…TO DA GROOOUUUUNNNNDDD. AND NOW MY GIRL WON’T GIVE ME A TIP CUZ SHE ALL “WHY YOU SO MEAN TO DAT LITTLE WHITE GIRL” AND NOW EVERYBODY WANNA BOO ME BECAUSE I’M LIKE THE HITLER OF POP CULTURE AND SHIT, SO I’M SORRY TAYLOR. MAD RESPECT.
Taylor: Well, it’s okay Kanye, I forgive you.
Kanye: YO TAYLOR WE SHOULD CUT A RECORD TOGETHER ABOUT ALL THIS CUZ IT WOULD SELL MILLIONS OF COPIES….BOOOOYAAAAWWWW! AND THEN WE COULD MAKE A VIDEO AND IT WOULD BE ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL-TIME…ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL-TIME!!!!!!!!
Taylor: Well, I’ll think about it Kanye.
KANYE: AIGHT. MAD RESPECT AND LOVE TO YOU AND YOUR MOM TAYLOR, BUT BEYONCE HAD ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL-TIME…ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL-TIME.