I'm Hiding "Huge" Things About Palin - The Early Show - CBS News_1256762363095

As I’ve previously stated, I’m sort of over Levi Johnston. I often wish he’d just go back to Wasilla and drown himself in meth-ed out pussy and moose chili. But every now and again Levi will bait a hook that I can’t help but bite, like this morning when he appeared on CBS’ The Early Show and insinuated that he has dirt on Sarah Palin that could absolutely destroy her. Yes Levi, go on!

In part one of a two part interview with Early Show hottie Maggie Rodriguez that aired today, Johnston said:

There are some things that I have that are huge. And I haven’t said them because I’m not gonna hurt her that way…I have things that can, you know — that would get her in trouble, and could hurt her. Will hurt her. But I’m not gonna go that far. You know, I mean, if I really wanted to hurt her, I could, very easily. But there’s — I’m not gonna do it. I’m not going that far.

Now, I wonder what these “things” Levi has on Sarah are? Did she try to seduce him one night when Todd was on the snow-pony and Bristol was breast-feeding young Trig? Maybe Sarah’s got cheesy feet and farts a lot? Or maybe she had a fake baby?! Whatever it is, I WANT TO KNOW! Then again, Levi could be full of shit and just be saying stuff to keep himself in the news, but he seems, if nothing else, honest.

Oh, and Levi also said that Palin would go around calling her Down Syndrome-afflicted son Trig a retard. Enjoy…

Watch CBS News Videos Online