Tonight, at 10pm Eastern time, MTV will air the last episode of Jersey Shore, the show we knew would be the greatest television show in the history of the universe the minute we all saw the trailer. And we will never be the same.

Though there are rumors about various spinoffs like Snooki getting her own dating show called “Snookin’ for Love,” or perhaps bringing the cast back for another season with some new “characters” mixed in, it’s almost impossible to imagine MTV, or anyone else for that matter, can come close to, ugh, touching us (?) the way we were first touched when we were introduced to The Situation, Pauly D, and Snooki et al. The initial shock and befuddlement even those of us with previous exposure to guidos experienced in those first few hours we spent inside their world will never be replicated. It just doesn’t stand to reason that hearing about the ritual of “GTL” all in the hopes of “pounding out” some drunken guidette would get to us in the same way. Maybe it’s just me, but similar antics by any other future guidos would probably almost feel forced.

So let us tonight do some bicep curls and douse ourselves in cheap cologne before we gather around our televisions with our glasses of Ron-Ron juice in hand. Let us relish tonight’s finale and the hour-long reunion special set to air following it, for life as we know it will never be the same.

Well, maybe not, but still. (He wipes away a tear.) Never forget. But at least we’ll always have the amazing Jersey Shore soundboard so we can get our fix whenever we feel the itch.