Let the Grifting Begin!
I, Kari Ferrell, am now writing for ANIMAL. I have no idea what this daily column is going to be about. I have many ideas—who I’d like to have sex with, but shouldn’t; an enlightening piece on various deli meats; daily haikus; what I’d like to steal—but am not sure which one I’m going to go with. So for now, you get the Korean Abdul-Jabbar clusterfuck.
Also, the majority of you probably don’t want to read anything written by me anyway, so it really doesn’t matter. I may just end up talking about the theme from Full House and the Melchizedek Priesthood for days.
Can’t wait to hear you bitch,
Kari
by Kari Ferrell on January 25, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Editor-in-Chief:
break out the stolen duck sauce packets! w00t.
Welcome. You certainly sound like an interesting person at least. I’m curious to hear your take on, well, stuff. I really dig this site, but they could use a few more writers.
Best of luck to you. And try to stay out of trouble….
jC
You are famous and rate having a column ANYWHERE because…..
Am I supposed to know who you are? Or is the unwarranted self importance just typical hipster irony?
Enlighten me.
Why do you continue to ignore and won’t deny the allegations that you raped and murdered a 16 year old boy back in December 2000 !?!?!
I heard she has like 100 cats.
She’s hot. For a fatty boombalatty that is.
I too want to know why she won’t deny that she is a rapist and murderer.
Let’s all be nice. I really want to hear what she has to say.
Clarification:
I want to hear what she has to say about prison food. That is about it. Spare us the lesbian stuff, if one of the pair is as ugly as you then it just ruins it.
Unsubscribe.
Hells yeah!
Good shit Kari.
I knew this day would dawn on us.
i was going to say hellz yeah… but someone said that so.
HELLZ YEAH
No bitching from me–I’ve missed you, baby. Always regreted that you never ran your fingers through my beard.
the first daily post
your bosom-phoenix calls out
it is spring again
I soiled my undergarments.
As a reader, I feel exploited. Like being tricked into seeing performance art when I was promised a poetry reading.
And today’s obscene rainfall in NYC is now explained. Welcome!
Like EVERY other blogger out there, she will take the mundane and try to spin it into something CRAZY.
No, I am sorry, Kari, nothing that cool or interesting ever happens to anyone at Starbucks or even in the prison laundry.
Can’t wait for the self-serving bullshit to start.
DO YOU DENY THE ALLEGATIONS? CHINK?
Hi Kari, I think you’re keen. Please say you’ll wear my letter jacket and go to the prom with me!
Oh, and write Cary back.
It was pure bliss not being exposed to any information about you when you were locked up in jail. No one’s interested, seriously.
there’s usually like no comments at all on this blog, ocassionally like two comments, but never 23. keep it up, bucky, you’ll br sellin’ adverts in know thyme.
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Congratulations, Kari. I have no trouble believing your editorials will be the most valuable material ever showcased on this website.
Kari, Why don’t you write about what is going on in North Korea? The gulags which contain 156,000 people in unbelievably brutal conditions (remember the book I sent you while you were in jail?), the slave labor in those labor camps, the prisoners dropping like flies, the malnourished children and people in North Korea, sexually trafficked North Korean women being sold along the Chinese / North Korean border, North Korean refugees desperately leaving North Korea and trying to make their way to South Korea. Why not use your celebrity to focus a bright light on the conditions in North Korea and organizations trying to help? You are very intelligent. Put that intelligence to good use.
Like she gives 2 shits about what is going on in N Korea. If she found herself in the gulag up there I have no doubt that she would find a way to bang the prison commander and bilk him for his meager salary, fly away in his personal helicopter, and finally end up back in vegas where she could take more simulated MMF porn shots.
What a ho-bag.
I judge people’s worth based in good part upon their grammar, spelling, and penmanship, so I have no problem with this development.
this is like a blog-job with your mouth.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, why the fuck would you let her write for animal?!?!? ugggghhhhh
Finally, the Hipster G is out of the klink. I’ve been absolutely in love with the antics of this woman from day #1 and am glad she’s chosen this place to continue her story. I hope Kari lives forever. LIVE FOREVER, KARI F.
Vivian, shut your face. You are a racist.
Big fan of your twitter feed.
Where in Philly did you hide out?
I totally wrote you in jail and drew you a cartoon of a turkey and also a picture of a penis. And you didn’t write me back. wtf?
I liked you better when you showed more skin and everyone was pissed at you. Are you fucking anyone?
YIKES!
You, Kari, are already worth the price of admission (well, in this case we’re talkin about free; but that’s neither here nor there), simply based on the the reaction that you have elicited on this here site. And like an above commenter noted: there are about as many comments here on this post than all the other AnimalNY posts combined.
how fucking lame.
seriously. you people are entertained by this cliche girl?
let’s see:
tired, old, over the top tattoos screaming out for that badly needed attention?
-CHECK!
“adorable”, overthought/overwrought handwriting?
-CHECK!
“Korean Abdul-Jabbar”, STILL??
-CHECK!
hordes of you readers being entranced by a fucking hardcore liar/swindler?
-CHECK!
pathetic?
-CHECK!
for some reason, i expect more out of you, animal.
I am confident she will not be here long.
Being a mediocre liar and unskilled grifter (I mean, come on people, we are not talking Robert Redford in “The Sting” here, it was just a bunch of idiot 20-somethings that got bilked out of their lunch money) does not really mean she has much of any interest to say.
It will get old fast, and she will disappear only to resurface in 2 years at the Mustang Ranch.
More suggestions on what to write about – what is going on in New York City: illegal Chinese immigrants working like slaves for peanuts, run away teenagers and the hell their life can become, teenage pregnancy and the consequences (abortion, adoption, STD’s that cannot be treated like Herpes Simplex II), young people in gangs and those who got out, charitable organizations that make a difference, religious leaders who really live up to what they preach to their congregations (how about that for unique?), future leaders who are trying to break into politics now, what is good and bad in public schools, feature people who recently arrived in the city and what their dreams are, feature immigrant organizations giving back to their home country and what the impact of their giving is, write about average people (bogada owners, taxi cab drivers, sanitation workers, office workers) and what they are trying to accomplish, write about military veterans and how they re-adjust to normal life. This could be the start to a legitimate career. Go for it and do a good job!
Oh my hell! This is freaking great! People are sheep and believe everything they see on the good ol T.V.
Again just another sign that stupid people are breeding!
What really irritates my soul is these are the people that are so easily manipulated and crave that attention that you get.
Keep it up! Go team!
Less writing, more dirty pictures please…
The drama! The controversy! When was the last time Animal got even half as many comments for a single blog post? It’s a promising start.
Dear hipster whore.
You aren’t talented. Should not be in the lime light. And I’m pretty sure your a skanky whore. Please an hero yourself.
You can at least let us know how the stint in Utah jail was.