Acrobat/unicyclist/juggler person Kyle Peterson is suing the NYPD in federal court for $3 million dollars because they issued him a summons for riding his unicycle on a sidewalk back in December 2007. Three mill buys a lot of bowling pins.

Peterson says the city law prohibiting “two- or three-wheeled device[s]” doesn’t apply to unicycles, which have either one wheel or 12,000 wheels (can’t remember which), so he was lawfully on the sidewalk. His summons was eventually dismissed, and now he wants millions of dollars for damages. Hey, it’s cold in December, shut up. If he wins and gets all that money, he should buy rubies to juggle with, or open an alternative nonprofit school for wannabe circus acts.

Question: How can a unicycle on the sidewalk be safer for pedestrians than a bicycle on the sidewalk? Most bikes have brakes, and most bicyclists will stop in time (can’t speak for the drunk ones–they are “wild cards,” but relatively rare outside the hours of 12:30-3:30 AM). With a unicycle, though, it’s just some guy on a wheel, with nothing to stop him if he falls and goes boom. He and his bowling pins just land on your head.

The law should either permit all wheels or no wheels on the sidewalk. No special exemptions just because you can juggle. It’s not like you’re creating any jobs, doing that zany stuff. |NYDN| (Photo beigephotos/flickr)