On Monday, Marina Abramović ended her 736.5 hours performance in a swirl of adoration, barf and flashing (by filmmaker Josephine Decker).

The WSJ (wtf?) nabbed the first post-MoMA interview with the performance startist (on the way to put on a Givenchy jacket, custom made from 101 snakes). We decided to go to the source closest to her: @marinaschair.

We’ve exchanged Twitter Direct Messages with @marinaschair (currently on the lam after three months of supporting the artist) and offered asylum, if needed, but despite calling the artist a “D-I-V-A,” all the chair is concerned with is their reunion:

ANY: Where are you?

MC: I am near MoMA plotting a grand entrance for tonight. Those guards have still got it out for me but I will see my beloved again.

ANY: How have you prepared for your performance?

MC: Preparing for me meant learning the processes of bolted furniture. A park bench is forced to serve day and night into old age and serves multiple partners per day. I’m not really the swinger type. I had found my permanent sitter.

ANY: I saw you dragged away on Monday. You and Marina deserve closure, as much as Marina and Ulay did. How would you say goodbye?

MC: Marina never wanted to walk the Great Wall. She complained to me CONSTANTLY about the time she wasted with Ulay. We’d probably say goodbye the only way we know how; one last cathartic night in MoMA playing therapist for one another. If I EVER ran into Ulay, I would sock him in the nose.

ANY: Do you know the other chair personally?

MC: We’ve talked. If I saw the “other chair” on the street I’m sure we’d give each other the nod but it wouldn’t be much more than that.

ANY: How has this experience affected your artistic perspective?

MC: I’ve never dabbled in art but after going through this, I may give it a shot. Hell, if Koko the Gorilla can pull it off, why not a chair?