House Speaker-to-be Rep. John Boehner of Ohio and Tears told the incoming psycho/Tea Partying freshmen class of Congressional Republican House reps that “it’s about the people.” Then he laughed maniacally and bit the head off a dove. |NY Times|

More National:

  • The GOP is promising to keep “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” alive. Wait, why is this news? |NY Mag|
  • Bill Clinton‘s gonna be in The Hangover 2. Maybe he can become president of SAG next. |NY Mag|
  • Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have been trying to make it work out between them, which is very mature and un-Beltwaylike. |Daily Beast|
  • Canadian ambassador to Los Angeles Pamela Anderson wants President Obama to legalize all the drugs. |The Sun|
  • The Fed‘s rally is over! It seems like a bad thing. Did you even know that the Fed has rallies? |Daily Caller|
  • Looks like GOP Chair Michael Steele will need a new job soon. Maybe he can find employment in sex addiction rehab, one of America’s booming industries. |Daily Caller|
  • Rep. Heath Shuler (D-NC) says he’ll challenge Nancy Pelosi for the “top dawg” slot in the Democratic House leadership if she doesn’t step aside by November 17. Heath who? Shuler knows he doesn’t have the votes to win Pelosi’s slot, but is TAKING A STAND and getting some press. |Washington Post|

Local:

  • Rep. Charlie Rangel‘s ethics hearing starts today. Hope he takes his lucky pet rock. |NY Times|
  • The woman whose voice you hear on the subway doesn’t live in NYC or ride the subway. | NY Times|
  • Last weekend, councilmember Eric Ulrich tweeted about watching The Muppets Take Manhattan. This weekend, he tweeted about watching Sarah Palin’s Alaska. Sarah Palin is a muppet. |Eric Ulrich’s Twitter|
  • Councilmember Brad Lander blogged about a fire in Park Slope that damaged several apartments and businesses, including Open Source Gallery. It’s sad, so no jokes here. |Brad Lander’s blog|
  • The city’s paying $10 million in rent to a guy who’s on the public advocate’s slumlord list. Hey, the city can pay me $10 million to rent my apartment–just cleaned it, so it’s not slummy anymore. |NY1|