periodbloodWhen asked what you, the viewer, were interested in reading about, I received several emails regarding sexual intercourse, Mexican workhorses, and illegal activities inolving sexual intercourse. So, I think it’s safe to say that by now it is very clear that I like to fuck; girls, boys, hybrids, whatever. If you have something that can be inserted into me, I’m yours.

The only thing that makes me slightly squeamish, when it comes to boning down, is period blood. In every relationship that I have been in, it has been I that has had a qualm with menstrual mating. I can’t say what it is about it that grosses me the fuck out; besides the fact that it is a red, caustic liquid oozing out of one of the most depraved looking lumps of flesh imaginable. Yeah, that’s what it is.

Sure, I know it’s natural and whatever, but so is eating a placenta, and I’m not about to prepare a spaghetti bolognaise dish with leftover child parts as the main ingredient. Most every woman has to deal with her lifesource pouring out of the hole between her legs every four weeks or so, which would lead you to believe that every woman knows exactly how terrible vag blood smells, looks, and feels. But no! There are still people out there who are okay with getting a deep-dickin’ while on the rag, and some who even promote it.

Guys, I’m sure you have all been there–you’re ready to slip it in, and your lady tells you that her tact is on strike and that she’s having her period, so what do you do? If you back out, you look like a raging misogynist, but if you go through with it, you have to stick your dick in an infinity pool of blood. What’s the proper course of action in a situation like this? According to Adam, the 28 year old carpenter, “If I’m drunk, whatever.” That, my friends, is the thought process of 90% of those who have earned their red wings.

There’s just something about seeing a bright red penis that puts me in a dormant state; not to mention the amount of money you have to spend either buying new sheets, or economy size bottles of bleach. It looks like Dresden, smells like a hamster cage, and feels like disgusting; so why wouldn’t you just stick your dick in a bag of mayonnaise?

Besides, everyone knows that periods are why blowies exist in the first place.