Besides having one of the worst websites imaginable, Coney Island is known for a lot of things that should be of interest to you. Dehumanized beings performing for your enjoyment, a beautiful beach with crystal clear water, and an assortment of delicious food. If a magical place with all of these things exist, why is it struggling to survive?

Back before World War II, when it was still an island, Coney was considered a “major resort,” with people trekking across the country just to go there. After we assaulted Hitler with freedom, people just sort of forgot about their former vacay spot. CI then went into a state of serious regression, and was neglected by everyone besides die hard Warriors’ fans.

Eventually people’s interest in the fairground was rekindled, and after a multi-multi-million dollar renovation, the famed area is still falling apart.

If you can’t find it within yourself to go for the carnival-like atmosphere, or to watch Asian people in their natural habitat, go for the freaks. The first freak show in Coney Island opened in 1880 (so when you’re watching the deformed crab boy wriggle around, you don’t have to feel so bad, because you’re experiencing history), and has been a staple of the area ever since.

In 1883, Coney Island unveiled Henrietta Whitfield, whose endearing moniker was “Nose Javelin.” Little information is known about her, and one can barely find anything with a simple Google search, but as Wikipedia tells us, many believed she was “the ugliest beast freak that ever lived. Her hag head and witchcraft led to her execution in 1897.”

Today, the freak shows are all about people being proud of their hideous abnormalities and wanting to share them with others. With people like Donny Vomit, The World’s Most Partially Illustrated Woman, and little T-Rex arm Michael Jackson.

It seems that people only venture out on the F when there’s an event taking place, or a special reason to go. Besides calling it a Juggalo’s paradise; with its exorbitant amount of fried foods, overweight people in too little of clothing, and bad tattoos, I’d call the fact that it still exists “good reason to go.”