The Columbus Dispatch of Ohio (land of NYC’s hyper-defensive sixth borough) has reported on New York City’s brand-new Hollister store on 5th Avenue, which tells you something about what’s going on in Ohio.

The exterior of Hollister’s latest local retail palace has 179 flat-screen televisions that play a live beach video from sunny Southern California. Artistic!

Reports the Columbus Dispatch:

Just in front of the screens are “infinity” pools that push the illusion further, making the front of the store seem to be waves of the Pacific Ocean breaking on a Manhattan street.

“The coolest thing is when it’s at 5 or 6 p.m. in New York and starting to get dark,” [a spokesman] said. “The afternoon sun from Huntington Beach really illuminates the street.”

It’s like the ninth wonder of the world or something, after the first seven wonders (Gardens of Babylon? Pyramids of Giza? I don’t know) plus low-fat donuts.

Show your gratitude for Hollister’s public display of brand innovation and stop by to purchase some of their “laid-back, effortlessly cool” wares for the holidays. Your cousin Tammy dresses like shit, and Grandpa Mike could use some new body wash (he smells too much like pigs in the blanket); Hollister’s fashion solutions can resolve those issues. And if you’re reading this post off an Ohio computer, please travel to NYC on a tourist visa as soon as possible to watch the waves video and also visit Times Square.