Fight the Power, Whitey!

107lg There’s no question that white people are the chosen race. When the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride into the night and pump up the jams, as long as you have the Aryan blood you’ll be good to go…to heaven, I guess. Caucasians are always complaining about how minorities have an advantage over them, and how they were rejected from the local career college because some African bitch applied there, too. The fascinating thing, however, is that not all white people around the world are like this. It seems to be a toxic combination of being paper pale glamorous, and American that really packs the one-two punch.

The irony of all this is how into other cultures honkies are, regardless of their sense of elitism to the rest of the world. Don’t try to tell me this isn’t true, because if it weren’t, things like Stuff White People Like wouldn’t be such a success, much less in existence at all.

On Monday, I went to the Baaba Maal show at the Central Park Summer Stage. If you’re unfamiliar with Mr. Maal, then I’ll tell you all you need to know: he is very black, and very African. There was a point during the show, where all individuals were asked to raise their fists, in support of Africa. Now, Baaba Maal and crew didn’t segregate, they didn’t shout “Black Power” and request that only the chocolate portion of the crowd do it. So, what could you expect, besides a sea of white people with their skinny fists raised to the sky, along with the seven black people in the crowd?

A friend and I later discussed how retarded we felt, pumping our fists like an Ed Hardy wearing asshole at a European dance club (with conviction!); despite our sentiment towards Africa. I mean, I think that black people should be able to vote just as much as the next guy (as long as the next guy is half of a normal person), but that doesn’t negate the fact that while trying to show our support for our darker brothers and sisters, our naïvety was made that much more apparent.

Maybe that’s the thing, though.To ensure that they don’t appear culturally insensitive in the wrong places, white folk will put themselves out there, risk looking like an idiot, and wave their hands in the air as if they was true playas, in unity.

I suppose that we just need to remember, while eating our $18 bowl of baba ganoush or drinking our $7 bubble tea, that in the countries where these things originated, there is very real suffering and sadness. We, as Americans, whether white or black or a flaming homosexual (a race in itself), have a responsibility to the rest of the world. Help your fellow man, motherfuckers. Just make sure you look cool while doing it.