There’s something about seeing a bad boy transform into a chivalrous, dignified asshole that is just so sad. The social group that exhibits this most frequently are rappers. Tough guys one year, but by the next they’re crooning in auto-tune about how in love they are with Jesus. What a waste of a perfectly good panty-wetter.
Once upon a time, there was a crazy motherfucker who came straight out of Compton, swearing that if you crossed him he’d cause your body to be hauled off. This is the same man who has been quoted as saying, “Kiss my 330 cubic inches of V8 power, sucker!” in Are We There Yet? Sucka! Not nigga, not homeboy, but sucka. Ice, if Eazy E were still around, he’d pop the glock and it would be your ass. With a new record coming out on the 28th, I’ve heard that it’s already up for a Grammy for Best Children’s Album.
During the beautiful days of unbridled violence, and hard-hitting beats, Dr. Dre was the king. Credited with changing the world of hip-hop, and discovering the D-O-Double-G and Eminem, Dre once had it all. When at one point he was pimping bitches, he can now be found hawking Dr Pepper. Move over, The Chronic. This guy’s a doctor.
Snoop Doggy Dogg, was—at his prime—cranking out the best soundtrack for your bong hit. Embodying the gangsta lifestyle by slinging drugs and serving time, Snoop is now pandering himself to the masses in much the same way Dre is. Doesn’t it just make you want to call Warner Bros. Pictures and ask them if they remember how the guy they gave a part to, in a movie about a talking zebra, narrowly escaped a murder charge?
Finally, we come to one of the worst offenders of the bad-dude-turns-blah phenomenon. Guys, let’s get real about Flavor Flav. He was once a part of the most politically-charged, influential hip hop groups that ever was, but is now known by the general public, not as an enemy (…), but as a bumbling idiot on several VH1 reality shows. From having illegitimate children all over the place and being addicted to crack, to presenting possible love connections with gold clocks on national television, Flav has lost all of the street cred he once had.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen.