Gay people are allowed to do almost everything normal people do, except for get married and fight for our freedom. They’re able to have their fashion, art, music and brunches, but are turned away when it comes to legal consummation and war games.

Which really doesn’t make sense, because homosexuals are the most vindictive people I know. If you wrong them, they will stab you in the heart, yank it out of one of your orifices, and then eat it—all while looking fabulous and listening to Donna Summer.

Earlier this year, studies stated that approximately 66,000 self-identifying gay people are currently serving in the US military. Homosexual men were banned outright during World War II, whereas lesbians were still able to serve, as it was illegal to ask a woman about her sexuality at the time. Fast forward to ‘Nam, where it was a way of avoiding the draft, and getting out of going to war.

In 1993, the Military Personnel Eligibility Act was revealed; now known as Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Basically DADT states that a gay man or woman can serve in the military, as long as they remain in the closet, and their veritable gayness isn’t out in the open, ready to attack and spread.

Last week, a federal judge came down on inequality regarding recruitment, forcing stations to treat gays and lesbians as they would anyone else. It’s ridiculous that a fucking judge had to come out and “force” people to treat other people with respect, but good on ’em either way.

Yesterday, Dan Choi—the Iraqi war veteran, who was honorably discharged this summer for being gay—visited a New York recruitment station, in hopes of re-enlisting for the Army.

It is said that Choi and other gay veterans, could be re-enlisted, but never called to actual duty. A sort of loophole created by the government, so we think that they’re fair and balanced, but in actuality deters any real change from taking place. However, there’s mass confusion as to what is really going on, as it’s being said that gays once again cannot enlist at all.

When talking to ANIMAL’s resident military expert (DOD employee and Bearded Boy), he said that “there are many people within the military that hate gay people, mostly in part of just how popular hating them is.” As far as Don’t Ask Don’t Tell goes, he said that though he doesn’t personally agree with it, the policy stands to protect individuals. Whether or not it actually does is a different story. He went on to say that the “high military command has no idea how to deal with this. They are afraid of the reaction of the currently enlisted hetero-homo-haters.”

Honestly, I don’t really understand what the big hurrah about all of this is. I don’t know one person who wants to fight in the war—gay or straight—so don’t you think the government should be willing to accept anyone who sees it as their duty to do so? You would assume they’d be clamoring to enlist anyone, even if their bedazzled uniform stuck out like a straight man at a Cher concert. It seems that most of our command, however, would like to keep them out forever. A major blow to human rights, but at least the gays will get to keep their legs.