US-POLITICS-OBAMA-GITMOToday, The Bama signed a bill that will help people get the medical help that they need, you know, kind of like how America is supposed to be. His bloviated speech was all but short of a Yo-Yo Ma performance; including the crucial sob story necessary for something like this, and even a humor joke or two.

When Obama and his surly sidekick Biden entered the room, there were chants of “Fired up!” and “Ready to go!” Which is probably some crazy sort of subliminal messaging that I don’t even know about. As Obama signed the bill, with his arsenal of pens, the crowd went wild and I all but expected Vicki Kennedy to throw her sopping wet panties up on the stage.

With all of the controversy surrounding this bill, you might be wondering what it will do for you, and why every Republican voted against it. Essentially it comes down to what everyone knows already: the Conservative Right is comprised of rich, white assholes who don’t give a fuck about you or your health (unless it’s failing, and you’re providing them with your hard-earned cash for your myriad pills). Republicans stated that the bill would be too costly, but in reality it will allow the federal deficit to be cut by $143 BILLION in the first ten years. However, according to some, there will still be about 12 million people without insurance.

On Thursday Obama will begin the Thunderpussy 2010 Tour, in hopes of convincing the public that health care reform is actually advantageous, and that everything Bill O’Reilly says is the equivalent of when Corky told everyone he won the lottery.

And as always, the Repubs are on the defense; planning on challenging the “constitutionality” of the bill, and for once they could have a point. Beginning in 2014 if you don’t purchase insurance from a private provider you will be jailed. However, because of this, your insurance is unable to deny you for “pre-existing conditions” and they will not be allowed to cancel your health care at any time, as long as you are on the up-and-up with your payments. Parents will also be able to keep their children on their existing insurance plan until the age of 26, regardless of student status, etc.

So, what do you think? Can this actually constitute as “health care reform” or is it more of a low-level plan that is sure to fall short?