PAT2 Fire Patrol 2 Firehouse, Greenwich Village, New York City on Flickr - Photo Sharing!_1264613355335

Perhaps the worst kept secret in New York City is that CNN anchor Anderson Cooper is a flaming homosexual. Sadly, probably because middle America would feel as though their souls were being raped if an openly gay man fed them the news, Cooper has remained in the closet about his sexuality.

But now that he’s about to turn an old firehouse in West Village (Complete with brass poles and hose-drying equipment!) into his home, as the Post reported this morning, we’re sort of left to assume one of three things.

1) He’s about to come out of the closet.

2) He’s just fucking with us all now.

3) He’s incredibly stupid.

Personally, I think it’s number two.

Anyway, reports the Post:

The century-old building on West Third Street was nominated this week for a spot on the National Register of Historic Places, a status that Cooper can use for a slew of tax breaks if his renovations maintain the firehouse’s historic façade.

Neighbors have seen Cooper visiting the firehouse regularly since it was sold in September for $4.3 million by the New York Board of Fire Underwriters, which operated the private Fire Patrol 2 out of the building beginning in 1906.

The building, built in the Beaux Arts style, still has its original spiral staircases, brass fire poles, overhead beams used to dry hoses and walls covered with murals marking the fire patrol’s history.

Seriously, is there a more blatantly gay thing a man can do than to turn a firehouse in West Village into his home? Me thinks AC just mooned middle America and told them to kiss his ass. So awesome.